As a good rule of thumb in life, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others – and the same goes for marriages and relationships. When we compare our relationship to other people’s relationships, it can make us feel unhappy with our own situation. But, the grass is, of course, greener where you water it. If you want a fulfilling marriage, focus on your marriage alone without comparison.
Here are four reasons why you shouldn’t compare your marriage to other marriages:
- Your marriage is unique. Your marriage is unique because the two people in it are unique. There is no one else quite like you or your spouse, and no one shares your exact lives. So, if you compare your situation to someone else’s, you’re probably comparing apples to oranges.
- You’ll hurt your spouse. When you compare your relationship to another one, you’re also comparing your spouse to other spouses. This won’t make your partner feel happy, supported or secure, and it could lead to tension and arguments.
- Looks can be deceiving. It’s easy to feel a little envious of other people’s relationships, but things aren’t always as they seem. In life, on social media or just in casual conversations, people tend to not show the downfalls of their relationships, only the positives. You typically don’t know what happens behind closed doors or what a couple has been through. Or, if do, you likely don’t have both sides of the story.
- You can’t focus on your relationship if you’re focusing on someone else’s. Comparing your marriage to other marriages or relationships means you’re not focusing 100% on your own. When you’re focused on your relationship, you’ll more easily be able to see where there’s room for improvement, what’s working and what’s not without having any outside influence.
There is no right or wrong way to do marriage. It’s wonderful to have examples of happy marriages around us, but we shouldn’t let ourselves begin to compare our marriages. Instead, we must listen to our own hearts to know what is healthy and happy for us.
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