When you first started dating your now-spouse, you didn’t discuss when bills were due or who was going to run which errands. Instead, you focused on getting to know each other by talking about who you were and where you came from. You found common interests and did fun things together so you could continue learning about and enjoying the other’s company.
Fast forward to marriage, and life isn’t always the fun stuff. You both have work to do, goals to pursue, a home to maintain and maybe a family to raise. It’s easy to get caught up in the many moving parts of life, and it’s also easy to forget that you once dated the person with whom you’re now sharing a life.
Continuing to pursue and date your spouse keeps the romance alive in your relationship. Let’s consider how to date your spouse:
- Be present and engaged. You didn’t let the TV or your phone distract you from your honey when you were dating, so don’t let those things come between you now. When you get quality time with your spouse, devote your attention to them and engage them.
- Don’t nag. Your spouse is bound to get on your nerves – a lot. But nagging about all the things that you don’t like or that they’re doing incorrectly will not get them off your nerves. Pick your battles and know when something warrants a discussion, not a complaint.
- Propose ideas and activities. When you were dating, you did little things together all the time, and it was exciting. Propose fun activities outside of the usual date nights, like grabbing a coffee, going to the park or taking a class together.
- Give genuine compliments – When you’re falling in love with someone, compliments seem to just roll off the tongue. But after a while, the number of compliments we hand out to our spouse can decrease. It’s not because we no longer appreciate or admire the same things about our spouse, but because we assume they already know that we do. But don’t assume your honey remembers what you love about them. Hand out compliments like they’re going out of style.
- Offer thoughtful gestures. Offering a thoughtful gesture will make your spouse feel special and let them know you’re considering them. Grab their favorite candy from the store, refill their drink without being asked or send a little surprise to their office. (One time I surprised my husband by ordering him Jimmy John’s for lunch. But, it arrived after his lunch hour, so fail.)
- Want to impress. You probably took time selecting your outfit and primping before your first date with your spouse – and there’s no reason that should change for your 90th Looking your best boosts your self-confidence and makes you feel like one bad mamma-jamma, which your honey will notice and appreciate.
All of the behaviors listed above are things you did when you first started dating. You wanted to be your best self for that person so you put forth your greatest effort from every angle. When you continue to give your best throughout the years, it shows you cherish and have pride in your spouse and that you want to help make their life as bright as possible. And when both people are putting forth their best efforts, the relationship is more fulfilling and affectionate.