What to Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Plan Dates

Happy hour with the girls is the best time to dish about men, celebrities, work and all nonsense topics – right? One day over drinks, my girlfriend told me she was usually the one to plan her and her boyfriend’s date nights. She said it was up to him, however, to plan their upcoming date that weekend. She was really hoping her boyfriend would surprise her with a well-planned evening. I didn’t tell her that I was sure he would have the best night planned, and that I couldn’t wait to hear about it.  Instead, I told her she should try planning a date night similar to one she’d expect. This would, perhaps, encourage him to plan dates more often if he knew what she would like.


Let’s face it, men aren’t like us. Not every guy is programmed to know how to plan a fun or romantic date. And, some guys may even feel like they could never meet our expectations regardless of what they planned. I mean, think about it – it’s probably a little intimidating for a man to attempt to guess what type of date to plan for his woman. That’s because he doesn’t want to disappoint her. (That’s what my husband tells me.)


So, let’s take the guesswork out of date night and the pressure off our guys. Let’s set the example for date night. If it’s a quiet and romantic evening you’re after, plan for a nice dinner out and somewhere close you could go for a night cap or dessert. If it’s a go-with-the-flow kind of vibe, hit up some go-carts, putt-putt or a brewery, then head to a burger joint for some easy food and cold brews. If you’re wanting a chic night out, stop by a rooftop bar for cocktails and appetizers, then head to a show at a local music venue.


If your guy isn’t great at taking the initiative to plan a date, pick up that slack and plan the dates you would both find fun. He’ll eventually get on the date-planning wagon because you will have given him some inspiration for what you’ll enjoy. Or, maybe he won’t get better at planning dates. Love isn’t about keeping score, and we have to play off each other’s strengths and weaknesses. (Of course, dating your spouse is about more than going on dates.) To this day, my husband isn’t the best at planning dates. But, when he suggests going for drinks, lunch, etc., I hop on board quickly. I know he has the best intentions, and I appreciate it.


So, what kind of date will you plan next?

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