We’re always learning, right? Or at least we should be. Marriage is teaching me that love isn’t always easy, and in fact, that it will make you feel so frustrated that you may just shatter a wine glass on the floor. On purpose. But I don’t remember anyone telling me that I’d feel like that.
Perhaps it’s that while we’re growing up, those who love us want us to know about the best parts of love – how those parts look and feel – and they don’t want to bother us with the hard parts of love. But, let’s face it. Life can be hard. Love can be hard. Sometimes, I want to literally punch my husband in the face. And, you know what? No one ever told me I would feel like that or that it was perfectly normal.
Here are 5 things marriage has taught me about love:
Love doesn’t try to prove itself.
It’s common to want to be right, but you have to remember that you don’t need to prove your point in a disagreement with your love – you must find a solution.
You will be hurt by your love more than once.
We’re all human, and humans are known to make mistakes from time to time. We sometimes misjudge situations, forget to think of others and act out of spite. Our loves will often hurt us more than once – because they, too, are human – but we must candidly work with them to overcome that hurt or disappoint.
Love takes being unselfish in many ways.
Love means you must be unselfish across many aspects of life. You must consider the other’s feelings and needs before acting or making decisions; you must provide them with the time, respect and affection they deserve. You have to consider how you contribute to their overall confidence and well-being and act in their best interest. But you don’t do these things because you have to – you do them because you love that person and these actions are simply actions of love.
Love can make you feel crazy.
Love is exciting, frustrating, sensual, romantic and painful – and sometimes you feel a lot of those emotions at once, which is enough to make you feel crazy. But amidst the emotions, I’ve learned to remember that that I’m feeling them because of the love, not because I am a crazy person. (Although, that’s debatable…)
Love must forgive to move forward successfully.
I’ve learned that loving is forgiving, and you must forgive to move forward with a relationship. I’ve realized that even the smallest ounce of resentment will fester and cause obstacles throughout your relationship or marriage – even years later. We must discuss issues, resolve them and forgive for mistakes – genuinely – for love to sustain and grow.
As long as we’re learning, we’re growing, and the best loves constantly grow. What are you learning about love?