Many relationship struggles stem from the failure to communicate. We must be open and honest with our partners – and allow them to do the same – to maximize happiness in our intimate relationships. Sometimes the information we fail to communicate seems trivial, but the smallest mishaps can cause the biggest riffs in relationships if they continue to go unresolved.
After a date, one partner is eager to get to the sex, and the other is just ready to hit the sack. Yet he or she doesn’t communicate this, leaving the other to feel rejected. Fail #1.
One partner is upset by the actions or words of their partner, but never tells the other how they were affected – building up resentment in the process. Fail #2.
One partner has an idea of Saturday plans, but forgets to tell the other what they have in mind. The day doesn’t go as planned, leading to frustration and pointed fingers. Fail #3.
Raise your hand if you’ve been in any one of these three situations. (I’m raising all three of my hands.) Let’s talk about how clear communication leads to happiness in relationships.
How Does Poor Communication Affect My Relationship?
Lack of communication in relationships leads to resentment towards each other. When we don’t share what’s bothering us with our partners, those feelings are never worked out. Instead, those negative feelings sit inside of us until we get another hurt feeling, and we stock pile that feeling with the rest. Eventually, those feelings will need to come out – and sometimes that happens in an explosion. Once the feelings explode, you could be dealing with years of built up resentment towards your partner – which can be a difficult thing to tackle.
Resentment also makes us act harshly towards our partners. When we act negatively or coldly towards someone, it usually doesn’t encourage them to act lovingly towards us. And, so the cycle begins. We blame the other for the relationship’s problems, forgetting that we are both contributing equally to the problems with poor communication and hasty actions or comments.
Don’t let a problem to go unresolved because that will only allow it to fester. Resolve an issue at the time it surfaces so it doesn’t snowball into a bigger problem down the road.
How Can Clearer Communication Help My Relationship?
When we communicate the little things, it leaves less room for interpretation of the big things. Let’s revisit the example of not communicating your sexual intentions to your partner.
You might be thinking, “If I don’t want to have sex, why do I need to tell my partner that?” But why not tell them? Clearly communicating if you’re “in the mood” will allow for both people to be on the same page. One person won’t feel disappointed when sex doesn’t transpire, and the other person won’t feel like they’ve caused the other disappointment. You can enjoy your time together, omitting an argument that may have occurred due to lack of communication because it felt like rejection.
The same can be said for all facets of relationships. When we communicate our intentions, thoughts and feelings to our partner and vice versa, it allows us both to be on level ground with little room for misinterpretation. We feel more understood, happier and more connected to our partners. A genuine connection makes both people in the relationship have all the heart eyes for the other, and all those heart eyes lead to genuine happiness in your relationship – and sex.