My husband and I went through a phase where it seemed we picked at each other more than we built each other up. We argued fairly often, and over nothing important. We were both arguing only to have the upper hand, to be right, to make our point. I think a lot of relationships have either been through or are going through this phase, and it’s just down right tiring. I decided one day that I was going to try to make a change in our relationship by first changing the way I acted and reacted towards my husband. My thought process was that if I wanted a change in our relationship, someone had to first be the change, and that was going to be me.
So, I stopped nagging about the little things that always annoyed me. I stopped nagging about the things that annoyed him. I poured out more love and praise than criticism. I focused on the good he did every day instead of the few things he didn’t do. In essence, I began treating my partner in the same way that I wanted him to treat me. I treated him with only kindness and love, not holding onto resentment or negativity. And, do you know you what? It certainly wasn’t overnight, but eventually, I started seeing the change in our relationship that I so craved. We were more encouraging, nurturing and kind to each other. We had a better understanding of each other, and we were connected on a more sensual level.
The human heart and mind are tricky, but they’re simple at the same time. When you choose to treat people with kindness and dignity over revenge or haste, people’s guards come down. Putting up a guard is simply a way to conceal or protect an insecurity after all, and when both people are putting out love, there are no guards needed, and less insecurities to be triggered.
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