We Have Marriage Meetings to Set Shared Goals

What’s it called when two spouses get together to discuss and set goals? A marriage meeting! Meetings are for discussing topics between two or more people with no interruptions. So, why not have meetings in marriage? We had our most recent marriage meeting in December 2017 to set goals for the first quarter of 2018.


Our first marriage meeting was early in 2017. We set goals to achieve before our next meeting in April 2017. We did meet most of our goals, but we didn’t have the April meeting. Instead, we had our next meeting in December 2017. (Slackers.) But, we’re experiencing the benefits of these meetings after having just two of them. So, we’re going to keep at them. And, we’re going to do our best to have four marriage meetings this year (one per quarter).


The marriage meetings and the goals keep us moving forward in life and hold us accountable. The meetings ensure that we’re on the same page. (Because a happy marriage relies thoroughly on good communication.) And, they’re also super fun! What do we do in marriage meetings, you ask? Read on.

How our marriage meetings work

Our marriage meetings are scheduled ahead, so we have time to brainstorm what we want to discuss. We’ve had a meeting in a bar over beers and cheeseburgers. And, we’ve had a marriage meeting at home with appetizers and a home-cooked meal. The meeting serves as a fun date, and we get to set shared goals for our marriage and life. It’s a win-win! We write the quarter’s goals on a large sticky note, and put it on the side of our fridge. Once we accomplish a goal, we mark it off. It’s very rewarding to see that you’re purposely accomplishing things together! And, at the next meeting, we start anew.


Things we discuss in our marriage meetings

There are no wrong or right topics for the marriage meeting table. The meeting is about discussing things you want to improve, change, get off your chest, plan, etc. Sure, you can discuss how your marriage is going or something you need to accomplish at any time. But, the meeting acts as a defined moment to discuss these things.


We spent much of our last marriage meeting reviewing and revising our budget. (I already had a spreadsheet because OCD.) We walked away from the meeting with a budget we felt great about and several goals to accomplish. Some of those goals included:


  • A new dollar amount to contribute to savings each month
  • Painting the side door of our house
  • Organizing the kitchen cabinets
  • Sleeping separately one night per week for good sleep
  • Watching no TV at least one or two nights per week
  • Getting exercise together twice a week (super hard since it’s cold out!)
  • Having one at home date night and one date out per month


These goals are simple, yes. But they are things that will result in a happier marriage and lifestyle. It’s the fact that we’re taking small steps throughout the year to improve and progress our lives together.


Here are some general categories to help you brainstorm what you want to discuss in your marriage meeting:


  • Feelings, your relationship, etc.
  • Lifestyle
  • Money, budgeting, bills, etc.
  • Careers
  • Living situation
  • Home improvements
  • Future purchases
  • Vacations and getaways
  • Family planning
  • Social activities
  • Life events


So, do you think you’ll put a marriage meeting on the calendar? I’d love to hear how it goes if you do! What are some ways that you and your spouse make plans and goals for the future?

4 thoughts on “We Have Marriage Meetings to Set Shared Goals”

  • Hi Lauren! My husband and I have been doing this for about a year now, and we love it! The quarterly goals was his idea (he’s been doing it for years) and since we’ve been doing it together, it gives us a great sense of direction and purpose. Also, the goals line up with what we both value (financial independence, healthy lifestyle, etc.) so it’s easy to hold each other accountable. I’m glad to see that other couples are doing it–it really works!

    • Hi, Bethany! It’s awesome that you guys have already been having these little meetings and setting joint goals. It truly does help hold each other accountable and keep you moving forward on a purposeful path.


    • Hi, Amber!

      Thanks for your comment. These little meetings are definitely helpful in keeping us on the same page and moving us forward in a direction we want to go. Would love to hear how yours go if you have one!


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