Years ago, I was someone that wanted to be more confident in the bedroom. (I’ll preface this by saying I’ve always been pretty confident in that area. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to a boost.) I wanted to feel more sensual. I wanted all my sensuality to radiate. I wanted all the lovely, sensual thoughts in my head to come to fruition, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough to let them.
For example, I loved the idea of giving my hubby a little dance, but I was afraid I’d look silly. To be honest, the fear of looking silly held me back from doing lots of things I wanted. (News flash: that probably sounds insane to our partners!)
And then there’s my husband. This man believed I radiated sensuality even when I didn’t feel it. He thought I was sexy even when I wasn’t trying. He thought I was beautiful even when I felt I looked messy. He’s shared these feelings with me to some extent, but there was a turning point when he started poured out compliments and love. And, it completely gave my sensual self the confidence to shine.
He likely always thought those things, but he wasn’t as forth-coming with compliments. It’s a long story, but I’ll give you the short version. For a period in our relationship, resentment and spite fueled our actions more than love and kindness. We had walls up a bit, and we retaliated. It seemed we were on a merry-go-round. But, one day I decided to be the change I wanted to see in my relationship. I began treating my husband as I wanted to be treated. And pretty soon, we were treating each other with such love and kindness. We realized how resentment was wearing on our relationship. And, we both agreed that this new kind of relationship was life-changing.
I was also trying to make a change in myself around this same time. I did little things to make myself feel more polished, and in turn, more confident. Feeling better about myself and loving the state of our relationship made me generally happier.
All of this revitalized our relationship, and he became more vocal than ever in building me up. His love, paired with my new-found confidence, allowed me to see myself the way he saw me. I guess you could say his love boosted my sensual confidence. But it didn’t happen until we reached that vulnerable and kind point in our relationship.
I think the whole process of getting a sensual confidence boost was two-fold. I had to feel good enough about myself to let his love transform me. But, our walls had to come down for that safe, comfortable feeling to set in. Us both being vulnerable allowed the other to feel at ease. So, goodbye fear of looking silly. I no longer cared if I did.
Wondering if I ever got the courage to give a little dance? Yes, girl, I did! And, let me tell you, giving him a little dance makes me feel so freakin’ sexy. But, I don’t think sensual confidence is used behind closed doors only. I think you carry it with you wherever you go. It’s a different type of confidence to have. My sensual confidence makes me feel ultra-feminine, and I’m so thankful he was able to help me find it. I’d say he is, too.😉